i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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