Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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