don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize