at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize