Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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