Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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