would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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