ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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