Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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