??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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