Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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