How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize