I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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