By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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