Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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