Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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