Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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