i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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