Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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