Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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