I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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