If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize