The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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