im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Randomize