she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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