I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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