White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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