We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dicks are not precious.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize