He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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