i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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