Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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