i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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