Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
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