Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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