I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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