oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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