Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize