It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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