Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize