a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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