You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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