The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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