Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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