are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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