just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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