he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
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The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You are a genius and a whore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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