is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize