I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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