Just fell off a train. Bad.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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