Taylor Swift is so right about you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize