We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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