Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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