Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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