Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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