guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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